 
 
 
 
Taylor Foster Narrator   Andrea Jenkins Interviewer 
 
 
 
 
 
The Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies University of Minnesota 
October 7, 2015 
 
 
 
 
  

  
 
The Transgender Oral History Project of the Upper Midwest will empower individuals to tell their story, while providing students, historians, and the public with a more rich foundation of primary source material about the transgender community.  The project is part of the Tretter Collection at the University of Minnesota.  The archive provides a record of GLBT thought, knowledge and culture for current and future generations and is available to students, researchers and members of the public. 
The Transgender Oral History Project will collect up to 400 hours of oral histories involving 200 to 300 individuals over the next three years.  Major efforts will be the recruitment of individuals of all ages and experiences, and documenting the work of The Program in Human Sexuality.  This project will be led by Andrea Jenkins, poet, writer, and trans-activist.  Andrea brings years of experience working in government, non-profits and LGBT organizations.  If you are interested in being involved in this exciting project, please contact Andrea. 
Andrea Jenkins jenki120@umn.edu (612) 625-4379 
 
 
 
 
  
Andrea Jenkins -AJ 1 
Taylor Foster -TF 2 
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AJ:  My name is Andrea Jenkins and I am the oral historian with the Transgender Oral History Project 5 at the Tretter Collection at the University of Minnesota.  Today is October 7, 2015, and I am here 6 with Taylor Foster, were in downtown Minneapolis.  Taylor, why dont you introduce yourself 7 and state your preferred pronouns, your gender identity, and your gender assigned at birth? 8 
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TF: I am Taylor Foster, I identify as a trans man and I was born female at birth.   10 
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AJ: OK, very good.  Taylor, what is your earliest memory?  It doesnt necessarily have to do with 12 your gender identity, though it may  I dont know.  Whats the earliest memory you have? 13 
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TF: Earliest memory as a child?  Gosh.  I would say when I was really young I had this baseball hat 15 that I always used to wear, it was the bright orange Abercrombie and Fitch baseball hat and I 16 wore it everywhere.   17 
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AJ: Abercrombie and Fitch? 19 
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TF: Abercrombie and Fitch baseball hat and I used to wear it everywhere.  My sister, when I was 10, 21 hid it because she couldnt stand it.  She hid it from me until I didnt want to wear it anymore or 22 forgot about it, basically.  That was the saddest day for me when I couldnt find my hat.  I didnt 23 want to go to school, I didnt want to do anything  that was my favorite hat. 24 
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AJ: Wow, how old were you do you think? 26 
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TF: When I first got the hat I was probably seven or eight. 28 
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AJ: Wow.  Do you miss it still? 30 
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TF: She gave it back to me, like at Christmas, when I was way older and I couldnt believe that she 32 actually still had it.  I dont wear it anymore.   33 
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AJ: OK.  Where did you go to elementary school? 35 
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TF: I went to elementary school at Prairie View in Eden Prairie. 37 
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AJ: OK, what was that like? 39 
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TF: Very cookie cutter.  Eden Prairie is full of mainly white folks, middle and upper class.  It was like 41 you see on movies, very suburbia  that kind of stuff, nothing out of the ordinary. 42 
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AJ: Were you a good student?  Did you experience any sort of bullying? 44 
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TF: I was a good student, I loved math.  My parents got divorced when I was four and a half.  In 1 elementary school we actually . . . I got to get out of class to go to divorced parents class and it 2 was this little kind of counseling class.  The one thing that I remember that they made us do was 3 you had paper plates and you would draw a face on it for how you were feeling that day  like 4 happy or sad, and explain why.  I dont know, thats where I met one of my best friends growing 5 up all through school, her parents were also divorced, so we were just best buddies  we were 6 little tomboys and we just hung out all the time.  Our parents ended up becoming friends and 7 we knew each other until we graduated high school.   8 
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AJ: So you considered yourself a tomboy growing up? 10 
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TF: Oh yes.  I started wearing masculine or boy clothes when I was really young  like my first grade 12 picture is a picture of me wearing a tie that I took out of my dads closet.  It was before you 13 could see the pictures before you would buy them, so theyd take a pack to school and be like, 14 Hey, Im going to get all these.  So I was in overalls and this huge 1990s tie, super thick  it was 15 floral, and that was my favorite yearbook picture ever.  I also had this favorite suit that was this 16 suitcoat that had stripes on it, it was white and baby blue stripes, and when I grew out of that, 17 that was just the saddest day ever.  But, I wore boy clothes forever  until probably 5th or 6th 18 grade, and then social pressures taught me very soon that that was just not an acceptable way 19 to dress for a girl.  When I started getting into junior high I was just like, OK, well you better 20 conform because its getting a little too uncomfortable.  So it was OK for me to play with boys 21 on the playground but not dress like one.  So thats when I . . . I would say probably 5th grade 22 was when I first started feeling like, you really cant do this anymore.  But 1st through 4th 23 grade, all of my pictures are sweater vests  my school pictures are sweater vests and a shirt and 24 a polo.   25 
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AJ: So your mom or your parents let you pick your own clothes, they didnt try to put you in frilly 27 dresses or . . .? 28 
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TF: No, my parents never tried to do that.  I was kind of the tough and rugged one, my sister didnt 30 really play sports or anything.  I think me playing sports, my dad was just like, OK, whatever. 31 And my mom just never really fought it.  We would go in Gap Kids store and I would go to the 32 boys section and my sister would go to the girls  it just kind of was.  I think it was just an idea 33 that I would just grow out of it eventually so they didnt see the need to try to intervene or 34 anything.   35 
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AJ: OK, wow.  Thats quite interesting.  So just one sister? 37 
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TF: Yes.  Well, my dad has three marriages and two kids from each one but my older half-sister and 39 brother, they live . . . well my brother now lives in Minnesota, but they lived in Maryland when 40 we grew up, so I really only grew up with my sister and then my dad has adopted twins with his 41 third marriage, so I grew up a little bit with them, but mainly just my sister. 42 
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AJ: Biological. 44 
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TF: Yes, my biological sister. 46 
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AJ: From both your parents. 2 
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TF: Correct.  I grew up mainly with her going back and forth and all of that.   4 
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AJ: So you had a relationship with your divorced parent  once the divorce happened you still spent 6 time with your dad. 7 
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TF: Yeah, we would do a week at my dads and a week at my moms and just go back and forth. 9 
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AJ: So your dad lived here in Minnesota? 11 
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TF: Yeah, they actually still live a half a mile away from each other.   13 
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AJ: No way. 15 
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TF: Yeah, they wanted to make it super convenient for us, which was good because I kind of forgot 17 my homework a lot at different places  maybe sometimes on purpose.  So, yeah, they lived 18 really close. 19 
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AJ: When was the first time you realized you were not the gender you were assigned at birth? 21 
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TF: There was this one time, my neighbor next door  hes actually a day older than me but hes a 23 grade younger than me, they just held him back to be with his sister.  We were playing at his 24 house and he asked if I wanted to play swords. 25 
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AJ: OK. 27 
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TF: So I got a sword because I didnt understand what he was asking, and then he whipped out his 29 penis.  I was like, Oh, swords like that.  And then I realized that . . . that was the first time I 30 realized that, How come I dont have that?  It was just kind of confusing but I was like, Well, 31 that was weird, and just chalked it up to . . . I dont know. 32 
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AJ: How old were you then? 34 
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TF: I was probably five or six.  And then I never knew . . . I never felt comfortable in girl clothes but I 36 didnt have to wear them until I was in 5th or 6th grade and then I was like, But everybody else is 37 doing this so Im just going to do this.  But I always felt different, but I never knew . . . I grew up 38 in the suburbs, I didnt have knowledge of even what gay people were.   39 
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AJ: Right. 41 
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TF: So my 1st grade teacher was an awesome African American man, he was really cool.  He loop 43 taught us so then I also had him for 2nd grade, so when I was in 4th grade he came out and got 44 married to his partner and my mom went to the ceremony.  I also very much grew up in church 45 and so I was like, Well, you know hes going to hell, right?  And my mom was like, Well why 46 
would you say that?  Well, Thats what it says in the Bible, thats what we learned at church.  1 So that was one of the first times that I was just kind of struggling with OK, thats a thing but is 2 that OK.  And so he was the first occurrence that I ever knew that gay people were a thing, that 3 that was an option.  I was like, Oh, that could fit.  So when I started . . . probably when I was in 4 8th and 9th grade was the first time that I was like, OK, I could be a lesbian, that could make 5 sense.  I could be this more masculine perceived, butch, but also still be female and like 6 women.  I was like, OK, maybe that works for me.  I had no dialogue for trans people, I had 7 no example, I had never seen trans people or learned about them.  It wasnt until I was probably 8 sophomore or junior year in high school that I learned what trans people were, but I still wasnt 9 sure if that was even a tangible option for me because of where I grew up. 10 
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AJ: You went to high school in the 1990s? 12 
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TF: Yes.  I was born in 1990, so 2000s.   14 
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AJ: 2000s!  OK. 16 
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TF: So I dont know, my upbringing and going to church and living in the suburbs, being gay was not 18 really an accepted thing yet.  And my sister is three years and nine months older than me, so she 19 was a 4th grader when I was a 1st grader, and she was a senior in high school when I was a 20 freshman, so I kind of waited to come out as lesbian because I didnt want to embarrass her. 21 
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AJ: Sure. 23 
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TF: Not that it did embarrass her, I just wasnt sure what the reaction was going to be, so I just 25 waited.  I got a phone call from her when I was a sophomore and she was at college and she was 26 like, Have you ever done anything, drunk or sober . . .  Thats funny that she said drunk 27 because I had never drank at that point, so I was like, What are you talking about? And she 28 was like,  . . . that would make anyone think that youre a lesbian.  And I was like, Oh, no, 29 someone knows, someone told her.  So someone had told her that I had a girlfriend at school 30 and so thats how I sort of accidently came out the first time as a lesbian  was my sister found 31 out through someone who still went to our high school.  So, that was interesting. 32 
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AJ: So you came out to your sister? 34 
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TF: I came out to my sister and she was like, You have to tell mom, and I was like, Nope, Im not 36 doing it, dont want to.  And she was like, Its fine, Ill be home, we can do it.  And so then I 37 came out to my mom when I was . . . probably 16.  Yeah.  And so, it went fine.  It was a lot of, I 38 love you, and crying, which is good  thats better than I can say most peoples experiences go. 39 
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AJ: A lot of people dont get that. 41 
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TF: Yeah.  I definitely was worried, not that I thought she would not love me, I just had . . . like I said, 43 I grew up in the church the entire time.  I was like the . . . I sang worship at our church, I was a 44 big part of the youth group, I went on every mission trip.  It was a big thing where I was 45 conflicted between my faith and how . . . 46 
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AJ: What denomination? 2 
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TF: We were Lutheran.  We grew up Catholic but when my parents split we went to this Lutheran 4 church.  So I went there for a while and then when I really decided that I was OK being who I 5 was, then the church was like, Just kidding, were not OK with you being that.  So then me and 6 the church havent really been cool since then  pretty much. 7 
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AJ: So you dont have a formal religious relationship at this point in time? 9 
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TF: At this point in time, no.   I am spiritual in a sense, but Im not singing in the worship band and 11 Im not going to church every week like I was.  They really tore that away from me, which I was 12 17  it wouldnt have been hard to tear me away from church, so anything like that was like, All 13 right, Im good, thats fine by me.   14 
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AJ: So you experienced some pretty harsh discrimination and rejection at church? 16 
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TF: Yes, they told me I wasnt allowed to be a junior high camp counselor because I was going to 18 convert them to lesbianism. 19 
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AJ: Wow.   21 
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TF: Which is just silly.  I was pretty much done with church at that point.  But thats also why I was 23 concerned that my family would be like, No, youre an abomination, youre this.  However, I 24 should have thought back to the experience of when I told my mom that my teacher was going 25 to go to hell and she was like, Why would you say that?  I should have gone back there but I 26 was 16 and I was like, Oh man, what if they kick me out, where am I going to live, what am I 27 going to do?  Because thats the reality of some peoples experience. 28 
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AJ: Thats very much the reality.  So you came out at 16 or so as a lesbian? 30 
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TF: Yes. 32 
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AJ: How has your identity changed since then? 34 
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TF: Sure.  I went to Augsburg College because, well for one my mom went there and my sister was 36 going there and whenever I would visit my sister I could see a ton of queer presence on campus 37 and it was like, Oh, I can be anything here, I dont have to worry.  And so, I bee-lined it right 38 there when I graduated high school and I lived there all four years on campus, never even went 39 home any summers, I wanted to be here in the city, I wanted to be free.  I was part of the queer 40 organization on campus called Queer and Straight Unity.  I was actually president of it a couple 41 of the years and when I first started to go we had this annual drag show where wed bring drag 42 queens from the 90s down . . . theyd do drag right in our cafeteria, its just super awesome.   43 
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AJ: Wow. 45 
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TF: I remember going when I was in high school when my sister went there, and I was like,  This is 1 awesome, I will be here.  And just everyones openness . . . for people to just be was so 2 awesome.  Usually the people that are involved in the QSU will dress up in drag for the day to 3 promote the drag show that night, and so I shaved my head, which is the first time I had ever 4 shaved my head . . . gosh what was I?  I was a sophomore, maybe a junior in college . . . I think I 5 was a junior, I was a junior in college and I shaved my head and my family was not happy.  I 6 shaved my head and then I took the rest of the actual pieces of hair and made a beard and side 7 burns, I bound my chest for the first time.  I walked around school that day and Ive never felt so 8 put together, Ive never felt so complete.  I was like, Huh, well thats interesting.  So for the 9 first time I literally walked with my shoulders back, my head held high, and I was like, This is the 10 most confident Ive ever felt in my own body in my life.  I was like, That was pretty profound, I 11 think I need to explore that a little bit more.  By then I had learned about trans people, I was a 12 part of the queer organization, we talked a lot about trans people and gender non-conforming, 13 intersex . . . we talked about it all and it was great.  I was like, Wow, this is really interesting.  14 And by then YouTube was hot on the transgender trail. 15 
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AJ: Especially trans men how-to videos. 17 
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TF: I worked at Campus Security and I worked overnights and I would just binge watch videos all 19 night.  I would just have eight tabs open and I was like - Oh, this all makes sense, thats how I 20 feel.  These people were saying these words that I never knew I could talk about.  I didnt have 21 the dialogue to have these conversations with myself or with others.  I was like these are the 22 words I need, these affirmations from these people that, frankly, some of them I will never 23 meet.  They were just these people that I was like . . . OK, this I possible, I have options.  And so 24 then I finally had enough courage to really talk about it and one of my good friends had, it 25 definitely was my sophomore year, one of my good friends had been gay-bashed in front of our 26 dorm.  He was wearing these amazing stiletto pumps and these kids just assaulted him and 27 broke the jaw of one of our straight friends too. 28 
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AJ: Augsburg students? 30 
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TF: No, they werent Augsburg students.  It was someones friends or something.  And so, I started 32 this movement for the week to wear a different color of the rainbow and support him.  It got a 33 ton of campus coverage and it was on the news and all this stuff.  Then that next Saturday, so 34 one week later, he put back on his heels and we went walking out and that, to me, was the most 35 profound thing  he has been physically assaulted and he refuses to not be who he is, and it was 36 like I wanted to have that much courage to be who I am.  And so then I started telling my 37 friends, Hey, this is how I identify, maybe you could start using these pronouns.  At first I was 38 like, Yeah, Im trans but whatever, dont feel uncomfortable, I dont want to burden you.  And 39 then it was like, Maybe it will be cool if you could use male pronouns, and then I got my first 40 binder and that was awesome.  I threw out a ton of clothes that I wanted to get rid of and I went 41 shopping.  It was great. I remember I had a partner at that time, right before I came out, and our 42 nightly conversation before bed was, Do you want to be a boy?  Good night.  Im not ready 43 for that conversation, but yes.  So, then throughout the next couple of years I was always 44 binding and I was advocating constantly for trans people on our campus and elsewhere.  I 45 actually became the first homecoming king . . . I was homecoming king at Augsburg when I was a 1 senior, which was the first time a trans student had got it. 2 
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AJ: You were the homecoming king at Augsburg? 4 
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TF: Yeah, I was homecoming king. 6 
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AJ: Isnt Augsburg a Lutheran school? 8 
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TF: Yes, it is a religiously affiliated school, that is correct. The ballots were  it was like, Pick a 10 senior of each sex.  And I was like, Well, thats stupid.  So I went to our student council and I 11 was like, We should change these to gender identity, because thats more inclusive to a lot of 12 people.  We have a lot of queer people on campus, what if someone who doesnt fit in those 13 wants to do this, or wants to be a part of that?  And I think they thought that I was . . . like I 14 wanted to be homecoming king, and I was like, It has nothing to do with me, you need to 15 change this  this is old school, its 2012, get with it. 16 
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AJ: Was Stef Wilenchek working at Augsburg at that time? 18 
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TF: Not at that time . . . wait, maybe.   20 
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AJ: Do you know Stef? 22 
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TF: Yeah.   24 
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AJ: Because they ran the program, the Queer Student Program at Augsburg, I believe. 26 
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TF: No, actually Stef was at Hamline.   28 
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AJ: Oh, Stef was at Hamline. 30 
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TF: Yup, Stef was at Hamline, thats how I met her.  Yeah, so we changed it and then me and my 32 roommate actually won homecoming king and queen.   33 
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AJ: Wow. 35 
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TF: So I invited my sister to the thing  well, it was really cool.  They usually used your student ID 37 photos and in my student ID photo my hair is down to here.  So they were like, If you give us a 38 picture, well put it out there.  So they put it in your email like, Heres the 10 people that were 39 selected, choose two.  So I got to put up my picture and it was me in a bright red bow tie.  It 40 was an awesome picture and I was really glad . . . they were really good, they worked with me 41 about how I felt comfortable doing it, I didnt have to do it if I didnt want to do it.  At the big 42 pep rally, they brought all of us out and youre sitting in front of the whole bleachers, full of 43 school, friends and family. 44 
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AJ: Alumni  everybody. 46 
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TF: I invited my sister and I was so terrified because there were so many different ways that that 2 could have gone wrong.  I didnt know if people were going to yell stuff or what.  And so then we 3 were standing  its me and all of the hottest guys in school.  The big jocks  the wrestlers, the 4 football and basketball players.  I had one on either side of me, they were both friends of mine  5 we werent good friends, but we were buddies, we grew up . . . and so, they both looked at me 6 and the person was behind us was holding the crown and about to it over peoples heads and 7 they both looked at me and they were like, You know you won this, right?  Yeah, right.  And 8 then they put the crown on my head and I was like, What?  I couldnt believe that I won 9 homecoming kind and my sister cried.  I dont know, I was just blown away.  So it was things like 10 that where I was just super excited and through working with the queer organization, because I 11 have friends in Louisville, Kentucky which is a very queer friendly campus, and they told me 12 about how they had changed all the bathrooms on campus to gender neutral for the day  13 which their campus is like the U of M, its huge  its ginormous.  And I was like, Well, if they 14 can do that, we can do that at our really tiny college.  So I did  well, I asked permission first 15 from the higher-ups because that would have been bad, and so we did.  And oh my gosh, people 16 were mad, people were so upset about having to walk to different bathrooms if they wanted to 17 have a gender-specific bathroom.  And it was a perfect example of how bathroom safety is a big 18 issue for trans people and we have to go out of our way to be able to feel comfortable.  If I 19 wanted to go to the bathroom between classes and I didnt want to go to a gender-specific 20 bathroom, there was, at the time, only six or seven gender neutral bathrooms on campus.  So Id 21 run back to my dorm and that takes time in-between classes if I had classes back-to-back.  I 22 really loved college as a way to really go out there and be an advocate for trans-identified 23 people and try and work through the college to make situations better.  It really gave me an 24 opportunity to really help gain my own confidence and my own dialogue of who I am and how I 25 identify and what I want to present to the world and what I want to do.   26 
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AJ: What challenges have you had since you began to express your true gender identity? 28 
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TF: Well, Ive had feats all over. 30 
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AJ: Defeats, you said? 32 
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TF: Feats, just like huge mountains sometimes, it feels  all the time.  They come and go, theres just 34 little ones where its either, for example, trying to get my passport was the biggest pain in the 35 butt in the entire world.  I was born with the name Taylor, so blessed on that front. 36 
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AJ: OK, wow  that works. 38 
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TF: My mom is like, At least I did something right.  I was like, Mom, you did a lot of things right.  40 And so, I legally changed my gender marker . . .  41 
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AJ: So you never had to worry about your family getting used to a new name?  43 
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TF: Right, thats true. 45 
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AJ: Which is a big deal for a lot of people. 1 
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TF: That is a big deal  yeah.  My family is great, Ive been blessed.  Im not saying that its always 3 been easy, it sure hasnt.  Its been five years now and were working on pronouns.  To be fair to 4 them, Ive never once asked, Can you use male pronouns? because I just . . . it seemed like 5 that was too much to ask.  Everyone processes these things differently so I was kind of like  6 well obviously they know I want to, right?  So when theyre ready they will.  However, my sister 7 just had a baby two months ago yesterday and so that kind of . . .  8 
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AJ: So youre an uncle. 10 
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TF: Im an uncle and that kind of sped things up.  My sister is like, This is my baby and youre her 12 uncle.  And my mom is not the best at using male pronouns for me, nor does she use female 13 though  shes very good at just saying Taylor or T, which works for me.   14 
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AJ: Thats perfect. 16 
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TF: It works for me.  But now she calls me UT, which is Uncle Taylor, so that works even better for 18 me.  Thats great.  Thats her acknowledging me and my identity at the same time.  Its been five 19 years and were working on it, and thats OK.  But getting my passport . . . Ive traveled a lot this 20 year and its been . . . airports are zero fun, it seems like Im always getting patted down.  Its 21 almost . . . 22 
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AJ:  By males or females? 24 
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TF:  By males, which is nice.  But its still like, I dont know what youre looking for, I dont know 26 what youre doing.  Its those stupid air scanner things . . . I dont know. 27 
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AJ: Well, everybody . . . I think the airport is no fun for most people. 29 
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TF: Thats very true. 31 
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AJ: I know trans people complain about it more depending on . . . depending on who you are and 33 what I call pre-privilege but it can be very well be called passing privilege depending on how well 34 you pass, you may have more challenges at the airport. 35 
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TF: Absolutely.  It is what it is, I guess. 37 
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AJ: What about the banks or . . .? 39 
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TF: No, I havent really had any trouble anywhere.  The only time . . . 41 
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AJ: Your degree?  Did they put your name on . . .? 43 
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TF: I just had my middle initial.  I changed my middle name from Ann to Andrew and so that was an 45 easy change so on my degree it just has A.  I was like maybe Ill change that later but right now 46 its just . . . so when I went to . . . before I had . . . no, I dont think Id had my gender marker 1 changed yet, but I was dating someone in New York and I went to . . . it was Pride weekend and I 2 was going to a bar.  It was very obviously a white gay-man bar, that was the scene of the 3 people.  So I went to the door and the bouncer was just like . . . he shut the door in front of my 4 face and I was like, OK.  He was like, This picture looks like a woman.  I was like, OK. 5 
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AJ: And? 7 
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TF: Yeah, and?  I was like, Whats your point?  And, on there it says that Im 22, so whats your 9 issue?  It just was the first time that Id ever had anyone really look at my ID and be like, 10 No.  But that was my biggest fear going out  ever.  You just close your eyes and be like, 11 Dont make me have to leave this place or feel comfortable in this space.  That was probably 12 one of the only times  now that I have both the gender marker and name and everything 13 changed on my drivers license, now Im like, Somebody ID me, take my ID and look at it, this is 14 awesome.  Getting my passport was a pain, going to court was a pain to change all that stuff 15 legally.  They had told me that I didnt need any paperwork from surgeons or therapists and 16 then I got there and they were like, Well you need this.  I was like, Well, good think I live like 17 five blocks away, Ill be right back.  I was mad.  I was like, Im going to bring back the biggest 18 folder worth of stuff that you didnt ask for.  Im going to make you sift through all of it.  But 19 other than that . . . I dont know, I think the biggest thing right now for me is relationships  20 trying to examine which road to take with relationships or even opening myself up to 21 relationships is kind of something thats scary, I think. 22 
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AJ: So youre not in a relationship right now? 24 
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TF: No.  Ive been single since January.  I purposefully took a year off to . . . now that Ive gotten all 26 this stuff changed, Ive never been this man out in the world.  What do I like to do?  Maybe I 27 want to travel.  So this year Ive gone to a different place almost every single month.   28 
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AJ: Really?  Where have you been? 30 
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TF: The first place I went to was Chicago and then my friend won an all-inclusive paid trip to the 32 Marlboro Ranch in Montana so we went there for a week, that was hilarious.  Where else did I 33 go?  Ive been to Phoenix and Las Vegas and I went to LA and San Francisco and Lake Tahoe.  Ive 34 been to . . . where else have I gone?  South Beach, Miami and I have plans next month to go to 35 Memphis and Atlanta and Nashville and then Im going to go to New Orleans in December.   36 
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AJ: Wow, thats quite an itinerary. 38 
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TF: Yeah, I was just excited.  Ive never been able to be this guy and pass as well as I have, or even 40 have the paperwork to say such.  So its like I felt so liberated when I had my drivers license say, 41 Taylor Andrew Foster, and have the M on there.  I was like, I can do anything I want.  For 42 the first time I felt so empowered that I could literally go and be and just exist in spaces that I 43 never knew if I was going to be able to occupy those spaces. 44 
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AJ: So whats your sexual orientation? 46 
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TF: I identify as queer.  I dont really feel like ever putting myself back in a box, which is also why I 2 identify as a trans man.  Yes, my marker on my license says M but if there was a spot for trans 3 man I would put that for sure. 4 
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AJ: So youre clear that you are a trans man? 6 
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TF: Yes. 8 
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AJ: You intend to maintain that identity? 10 
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TF: Correct.  Absolutely. 12 
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AJ: And why?  Whats the importance of that? 14 
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TF: Because Im proud of it, because its something that Ive worked really hard to be.  My body is 16 ever changing and growing and Im growing with it.  Im a sociology buff, thats my major in 17 college, and James Burk, theres this quote  its actually on my refrigerator.  It says . . . 18 
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AJ: Whats his name? 20 
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TF: James Burk, hes a sociology historian, we always used to watch his videos and one of my 22 favorite quotes from him is, We are what we know and when what we know changes we 23 change.  So its just like . . . I feel like Im ever changing and ever growing and right now I am 24 completely comfortable being the trans man that I am.  Maybe somebody will I want to put 25 myself in a box?  Sure, but right now Im constantly growing, Im constantly evolving and 26 changing.  To me, being trans isnt something that I want to hide.  I have the trans symbol 27 tattooed on my arm  not big, but its just something Im very proud of.  This is not to say that 28 anyone who identifies as trans who wants to pick male or female to stay in, that theyre any less 29 trans or that theyre ashamed.  Im not saying that at all.  Im just saying for me its something 30 Im very proud of and I dont really care to hide, its something that Im very content being is a 31 trans man  and Ive worked hard to be. 32 
 33 
AJ: Absolutely.  What are some of the positive aspects of . . . since youve been expressing your true 34 gender identity  other than traveling all around the United States? 35 
 36 
TF: I think its given me a whole different perspective on society.  I think its very easy when I 37 surround myself with a lot of like-minded people to think that everyone accepts everyone and 38 then I go out to different places and Im like, OK, maybe not.  But then also at the same time I 39 find myself very relieved at certain situations where I thought maybe I was going to be judged or 40 harmed or something, where people have had completely easy-going responses to me telling 41 them that Im trans.  Ive had so many different opportunities once I have expressed that Im 42 trans.  I feel that the more outspoken and  confident I am, and comfortable I am with me, the 43 more people are willing to come and ask me certain questions, that maybe theyd be too scared 44 to ask or even have people reach out to me and ask me for advice or help.  I get Facebook 45 messages and emails from people that Ill probably never meet, just trying to be like, Hey, how 46 did you do this?  Or, How do I tell my mom this?  Things of that nature.  I met some person at 1 the Marlboro ranch who afterwards found out I was trans and messaged me and was like, Can I 2 give my friend your information?  Theyre really struggling.  Sure, it works for me.  And the 3 more I feel like I am my authentic self I think it encourages others to do the same.  And I think as 4 we continue to talk about it and become more visible, it really challenges people on what they 5 believe and what they feel.  Kind of like me, I never had the dialogue of knowing who trans 6 people were or how that worked, and I think the more that were open about it and talk about 7 it, the more people can really learn about themselves and also grow with us as we continue to 8 grow as a community.   9 
 10 
AJ: Wow, that is beautiful, Taylor.  Im so grateful that youre doing that out in the world.  To the 11 extent that you feel comfortable, tell me about any medical interventions youve undergone so 12 far.  13 
 14 
TF: Yeah, lets see . . . I got top surgery first and started T second, which people say is backwards, 15 but I think anyone can do their transition however they want.   16 
 17 
AJ: Right, I agree. 18 
 19 
TF: To me it was in the form of what I need versus what I want.  Did I want a beard?  Sure, 20 absolutely.  But, needles freak me out and I wasnt sure I was ever going to be able to do that 21 and then on top of it, the binders are not fun to wear. 22 
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AJ: Theyre painful from what I understand.   24 
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TF: Theyre very painful and I was working overnight so I would wear mine almost 24-hours a day, 26 which is so bad for you  like my chest and my lungs.  Sometimes I would cough up blood, it was 27 not good.  It just rips your armpits when youre trying to . . . it just chafes you so bad.  Also, the 28 constant looking in the mirror and seeing part of my body that I felt was just not supposed to be 29 there.  It was like Id rather do this than grow a beard because Id still be looking in the mirror 30 and seeing this.  I got top surgery first, I got top surgery January 6, 2012.  Yes, I actually was in 31 the lobby and saw another trans man from Minneapolis and was like, Whats up?  We didnt 32 even know we were having surgery on the exact same day, it was super awesome. 33 
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AJ: Who was that? 35 
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TF: Jay. 37 
 38 
AJ: Jay Masika? 39 
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TF: Yes, we were literally in the lobby and I was like, Whats up?  It was so funny.  I think he was 41 either right before me or right after me but we both had it done on the same day and I had no 42 idea. 43 
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AJ: Here in Minneapolis?   45 
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TF: No, we went to Sunrise, Florida.  Dr. Garramone.  I have a lot of friends that have went to him.   1 
 2 
AJ: How do you spell his name? 3 
 4 
TF: G-a-r-r-a-m-o-n-e.  Garramone.  He was super cool.  Literally, that was the best week of my 5 entire life.  I was . . . 20?  Yeah, I was 20 years old and my mom was originally supposed to come 6 with me but just couldnt at the last minute  it was too much for her.  But I had kind of 7 anticipated that.  I had saved up . . . I had worked a ton of overtime and paid for it by myself.  I 8 had a little fundraiser with some of my friends which helped certainly. 9 
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AJ: So you didnt have health insurance to cover? 11 
 12 
TF: No.  It was all out-of-pocket.  It was $6,000 for just the surgery and then you have to add travel 13 to get there, the hotel for the week because you have to stay there for a week, food, all of that.  14 So I had met a friend, September of that year, who identifies as trans, we met at a LGBT 15 leadership retreat.  He went to Hamline and I just called him up and I was like, Hey, my surgery 16 is in two weeks and my mom cant come now, do you want to come even though I dont really 17 know you that well?  And hes like, Yes, Ill be there.  So I bought his ticket and we went and 18 the second we were on the plane we were like, Who allowed us to leave the city?  What are we 19 doing?  We have no idea what were doing  this is insane.   20 
 21 
AJ: Taylor Fosters Awesome Adventure. 22 
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TF: Yeah.  I was like, All right, this is going to be great, were going to figure this out.  I had googled 24 the hotel, it was only five blocks . . . well, five blocks in Florida, blocks are like a mile long.  It 25 took us so long . . . 26 
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AJ: And its hot. 28 
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TF: Its so hot, were in our binders, were just dying  were like, Oh my God, were going to 30 crawl.  We were 20 minutes late for the pre-whatever, the day before, where they give you 31 your prescriptions for everything.  I was like, Oh my gosh, we are going to have to get a cab 32 back, that was awful.  But it was a great week and the hospital staff were amazing.  I was being 33 wheeled back, and they had let me keep my baseball hat on the whole time until I went under 34 because it was just like, Well I just need this for peace of mind.  And they were like totally 35 cool, Well put it back on.  I woke up and it was on my head and I was like, Oh my God, I love 36 these people, theyre great  They were wheeling me out and this nurse was just the sweetest 37 and she was like, How are you doing, honey?  I was like, Are you God?  And shes like, 38 What?  This was this heavier set African American woman and I was like, Ive always thought 39 that God was a Black woman.  And shes dying laughing, and she was like, Ruth, come here, 40 which was another Black woman that worked there and she was like, Say that again.  So I said 41 it again and they were like, Oh, we are going to take such good care of you.  And so they were 42 like, All right, were going to give you a shot now.  I was like, OK, where?  They were like, In 43 your butt.  I was like, I cant feel my arms.  And they were like, Dont worry, well take care 44 of you.  I woke up and she was like, Do you want a Coke? What do you want?  We should hang 45 out  lets hang out.  They got me a limo back to our hotel, like a limo town car, because we 46 told them we cabbed and she was like, No, youre not cabbing back.  So they got us this car, 1 she called me at the hotel every day  it was the best, most incredible experience of my life.  It 2 taught me so much about myself too, that I was even capable of doing such things without 3 adults present, although I was an adult at the time.  But it felt like just the most crazy thing Ive 4 ever done.  So I did that in January and then I didnt start testosterone until a year after that, so 5 January of 2013.  I decided to just see how I felt and I passed pretty well.  No, I didnt have the 6 lower voice and I didnt have any facial hair but just the relief of not having my chest have to be 7 bond every day, I felt so confident and felt great.  8 
 9 
AJ: And at this point you are introducing yourself as male, you were identifying, people were 10 reading you as male? 11 
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TF: Yes, exactly.  I had just graduated . . . except I had just graduated college and I was doing 13 corporate security and since my drivers license and everything wasnt changed, when I would 14 apply for jobs and everything, everything said female still.  So at this job I was using female 15 pronouns, which was just, Ahh, can I do this 40 hours a week, Im not sure if I can do this.  I 16 quit that job, went to another job and then got hired with the City of Minneapolis.  It was like, 17 OK, I can be me most of the time but then at work I have to be this other person, which was 18 only fine for a certain amount of time before it became just super dysphoric for me to feel . . . 19 like sometimes when people would say she talking to me at work, Id be like, Who are they 20 talking about?  And then I was like, Oh, wait, theyre talking about me.  I didnt think about 21 that, it was just two different worlds that I just had to play in for a little while.   22 
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AJ: You were this other person.   24 
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TF: Yeah, I just was like, I dont know who she is.   26 
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AJ: So now you work for the City of Minneapolis, what do you do? 28 
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TF: I am a police and fire dispatcher for the City of Minneapolis. 30 
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AJ: Is that right, 9-1-1? 32 
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TF: 9-1-1, yes.   34 
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AJ: So whats that job like? 36 
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TF: Stressful, very stressful. 38 
 39 
AJ: Is it really? 40 
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TF: Yes, no one ever calls me on their best day.  42 
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AJ: No, theyre calling you on their worst day. 44 
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TF: Their worst hour, 30 seconds, minute  whatever, of their life.  I never get, Hey, how are you?  1 Its just screaming or its panic, its someone crying.  Everyone is always in crisis and so its 2 emotionally a very draining and taxing job, but at the end of the day I know Im helping people 3 and Im making this place better, or thats the goal.  I love what I do.  Some days I go home and I 4 dont love what I do, but I think thats a lot of peoples jobs.  Theres days that are great and 5 theres days that you wish were better. 6 
 7 
AJ: So at the City of Minneapolis, which I worked for for 12 years, are they acceptable of your 8 gender identity and your preferred pronouns? 9 
 10 
TF: Yeah, I got hired and, like I said, I was hired as female, they had my drivers license and all that 11 jazz.  I got hired there in February and I had started testosterone in January.  So I was like, Well, 12 youve got about three months until youre going to be squeaking all over the place and 13 everything is going to start changing, so what are you going to do?  However, were on 14 probation there for a little over a year, so I was kind of like, What should I do?  What should I 15 do?  My mom is like, Say nothing, do nothing.  And Im like . . . but then the constant she 16 and her was just . . . thats just too much, I cant just do nothing, its just too taxing.  So I was 17 being trained in at the time and I got pretty close to my trainer and so one day at lunch I was 18 like, I just have to tell you something, because it got to the point where I felt like I was lying. 19 Theres this line where trans folk walk where when youre not out to this person right away, the 20 closer you get the more you feel this pull of Im lying to them if I dont divulge that Im trans but 21 at the same time is this a safe place or person for me to divulge it with?   22 
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AJ: I get it. 24 
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TF: So I was walking this line, and thats probably the most confusing line ever for me all this time, 26 but I just told my trainer and she was like, OK, I have no idea what that means.  Im like, Well 27 let me explain this to you, this is what it means, these are the pronouns I want to use.  And she 28 was like, OK, what are we going to do?  And Im like, I dont know what you mean, what are 29 we going to do?  She was like, Well, we need to tell management, we dont need people 30 calling you she anymore, we need to fix this.  So she marched me right in the supervisors 31 office and I was like, Hi, this is what I am, I dont even know you people, Ive only been here 32 three months, this is crazy.  So then my supervisors knew and then the rest of the supervisors 33 knew and then theres this thing called your 10-day, which is basically youre being signed off so 34 you take all the phone calls and do all the stuff completely by yourself without your trainers 35 help.  So my trainer had sent out a message to the whole department, basically, being like, 36 Taylor is on his 10-day.  If he has any questions, help him.   37 
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AJ: And everybody was looking at the female . . .  39 
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TF: Everyone sent her a message and said, You know you wrote he like three times in that 41 message?  And she was like, Yup.  So thats kind of how I came out at my job.  Its a very 42 diverse group of people, youve got people in their 60s to . . . I was the baby at the time but 43 now theres people that are younger than me.  And all different ethnicities, racial backgrounds, 44 religious beliefs. 45 
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AJ: Are there any other trans people? 1 
 2 
TF: Theres no other trans people, there are several other queer people though.  So, I was like, Oh 3 man, that was intense, well see how this goes.  I had no bad experiences, nobody came up to 4 me aggressively, nobody did anything.  Right now Im walking a really fun line of . . . theyve fired 5 probably 20 people since Ive been there so now they dont know, but the rest of my co-workers 6 know so its kind of like a fun . . . kind of like hmm, OK.  And then I have interactions with people 7 where Im like, Do you know?  Im not sure if you know.  People talk, so do they know?  8 Maybe.  I dont know, but its just a really interesting song and dance at work knowing that 9 some people know and some people have no idea, but thats also the walk and song and dance I 10 live all my life.   11 
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AJ: Have you ever experienced people, youve just met them, they know . . . all they know is Taylor, 13 this really cute guy, and then they find out about your past gender history, and then they begin 14 to treat you differently.  Have you experienced that? 15 
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TF: Yeah, Ive experienced it a few times.  Id say its more . . . I feel like it almost happens more with 17 men than women.  I think women feel a sense of safety because I think they think, Oh, he was a 18 woman so Im safe, that kind of a thing.  The culture in society today is women sometimes, and 19 often, fear men. 20 
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AJ: Absolutely, for very good reasons.   22 
 23 
TF: Yes, for valid reasons.  So I think . . .  24 
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AJ: Theyre bigger, theyre stronger . . . 26 
 27 
TF: So I think women, when they find out, will feel more of a sense of relief and men are like, Im 28 not gay.  And Im like, Well, that doesnt have anything to do with it. Thats two different 29 things  for one.  Theres that sense of, for one Im not gay, and for two then theyre also 30 curious.  Then its like, OK, so you have certain parts so now Im really intrigued.  Lets talk 31 about this.  They treat me differently, not necessarily in a bad way.  Sometimes theyre 32 standoff-ish and sometimes theyre like, Tell me everything. 33 
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AJ: Really? 35 
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TF: Im like, OK, well theres also boundaries here.  But yeah, my Facebook, theres pictures of my 37 past life on there that I just havent taken down because I dont really care.  It just is what it is  38 if you want to unfriend me or be whatever to me because of pictures of me, that is your life to 39 live.  I dont mind.  So if people become friends with them or have relationships with them and 40 then they add me on Facebook and they see that, and then theyre like, Oh, OK. But I havent 41 had any really super negative experiences about people finding out that Im trans. 42 
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AJ: Thats awesome.  What do you think about . . . you talked about these guys who assume you 44 must be gay if youre trans, I dont know where they come up with that but . . . what do you 45 think the relationship is between the L, the G, the B, and the T?  Is there a relationship? Is it 1 strong?  2 
 3 
TF: Oh, I dont know.  I would say in the fictitious world of unicorns and rainbows, were all great 4 friends and we all fight for each other.  In reality, I dont feel that at all.  I went to Pride not this 5 past year but the year before in New York City.  New York City is great, awesome landmarks, and 6 just everything feels great . . .  7 
 8 
AJ: Yeah, a beautiful place. 9 
 10 
TF: Ive never felt more out of place at a Pride parade as a trans person in my life.  I had my trans 11 flag, in New York City, which is one of the biggest gay pride parades ever, and I had my trans flag 12 and I got asked 10 times what that flag was.  I was like, What do you mean?  Its unique, but 13 there are three major flags  they could sit there and name the BDSM flag but they dont know 14 what my flag is.  Im like, I dont understand how you dont know.  That took me aback.  Also, 15 theres just . . . now, this past Pride, you  visibility.  Thats important.  We have people like you 16 and other people that are very visible  like Laverne Cox. This, I think, is changing trans culture 17 and the relationship between the L, G, B and the T.  I think its really sad that I fought really hard 18 to help the L, and the G, and the B, if you will, with the marriage equality and did all this stuff, 19 because I dont feel that a single one of them is really going to fight for me back when it comes 20 to trans issues like in the schools or when it comes to drivers licenses or things of that nature.  It 21 feels frustrating.  I was an activist for over five years . . . 22 
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AJ: For marriage equality? 24 
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TF: Yeah.  I was out there with the buttons, I was out there with the shirts, I was with the signs, I 26 went to the protests, the rallies and the marches.  I dont feel like the T has any of that same 27 support system.  I feel like a lot of the L and the G and B people were almost assimilating and 28 once they got what they wanted to be seen as equal as the cis homonormative rest of society, 29 they were like, Oh, were good, all of our fights are done, society is happy.  And trans people 30 are like . . .  31 
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AJ: Love wins! 33 
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TF: Yeah, exactly.  And Im like, Hey, hi, heres all of us.  I would love to have more support or 35 even just more people talking about it which is why its really important for people like you who 36 are a grand marshal for a huge Pride parade to be speaking about these issues or even being just 37 visible, gets people talking about it and makes people understand that theres so many more 38 issues than the ones weve already won.  I was wearing my trans pride shirt . . . or my legalize 39 trans shirt at the parade this past year and two people came up to me and were like, What an 40 important issue to bring up, Im glad that youre wearing that shirt.  And I was like, Oh, good, 41 Im glad that you even know what this means, thats great, thats important.  So I would like to 42 see more of a relationship however I dont feel like there is that much of one.  And then the 43 parts that I feel like we do get very acknowledged by the other members, its more in . . . what I 44 consider more of a fetishizing way  where its like, Oh, now that youre a T, thats hot, lets talk 45 about that.  Im like, Oh, good, thanks.  Why not ask my name first and not just come to me 46 and be like, Hey, I heard that youre trans, Im really into that.  Im not here or living like I am 1 to be your fetish, thank you.  So, I dont know.  I would like to see more of a relationship but I 2 think that comes with more visibility and more people willing to talk about it.   3 
 4 
AJ: Have you thought about an agenda for the trans community?  Do you think there is one?  Do 5 you think there should be one? 6 
 7 
TF: I think I struggle with the word agenda because I think it has such bad things . . . negative 8 connotations to it. However, a great goal, agenda  whatever word you might want to use, 9 would be safety.  Just visibility and safety.  I think if more trans people or just people in general 10 knew that it was safe or we could say that it was safe, or that they could see that its more of a 11 safe environment, I think a lot of people would be more comfortable saying, Im trans.  I think 12 safety is one of the biggest things that trans people struggle with  whether its to divulge that 13 theyre trans or whether theyre going to the bathroom in a public place or at a bar, etc. I think 14 since safety is such a big issue, I would love for it to just be something we discuss more  how 15 can we create, in society, more of a safe environment for people to live their authentic lives or 16 be able to talk about it.  I think that would be my main agenda is just the safety  how we do 17 that?  I dont know  thats a different conversation.   18 
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AJ: Well you talk about visibility is one way, the marriage equality movement and people telling 20 their stories.  Youre sitting here with me today, sharing your story, and I think that helps to 21 change hearts and minds.   22 
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TF: Absolutely.   24 
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AJ: Where do you think the trans community is going to be in 50 years?   26 
 27 
TF: Oh gosh  50 years.  How old will I be in 50 years?  75, Ill be 75.  I hope that its not really a 28 thing.  Not to say that I dont want us to be visible, but I hope that its just the same as when 29 youre like, Hi, Im Taylor, its just one of those things, you dont have to make it a big . . . 30 there wont be this, When did you come out?  Theres not this coming out story, its just that 31 youre growing up and how do you identify? I identify as a trans man.  Cool.  Or, I identify 32 as a man who likes to wear dresses sometimes and thats just how I am, but I still identify as a 33 man.  Great.  I hope that its just this thing that is not a thing anymore  its just the same as 34 saying Im a man or Im a woman, Im a trans man, Im a trans woman, Im gender queer. I 35 hope its just not a thing and I hope to see such diversity  things that we cant even think of 36 right now.  Because if you think about how theres male and female, theres Z and he or theres 37 all these different things. I hope that theres terms that weve never thought of.  I hope that 38 theres this even more rainbow of diversity, of things that right now we dont have the dialogue 39 for.  Because twenty years ago, I obviously didnt have the dialogue for this.  I hope that there 40 are things  that Im 75 and Im smiling and this old trans guy is like, Yes, thats awesome, you 41 go kids  making up new terms, thats great.  Thats what I hope  I hope its an even more 42 wide variety of people that dont exist right now.  Thats what I hope.   43 
 44 
AJ: I dont know if youre familiar with Jazz Jennings or all of these young children that are coming 1 out at 4, 8, 10.  Their parents are supportive, the medical system is supportive, so theyre getting 2 androgen blockers . . .  3 
 4 
TF: Hormone blockers, yeah. 5 
 6 
AJ: Hormone therapy, and theyre growing up as the gender that they feel most comfortable and 7 most connected to.  The word transgender itself may go away.  What do you think about that?   8 
 9 
TF: I think that would be really interesting.  Id be totally OK with that. For example . . . and you see 10 this more and more lately, for gender on interviews or applications to places it will be more than 11 just male and female.  Thats awesome, maybe it will just be that  maybe well add a ton more 12 boxes.  That works for me  as long as everyone can feel like they can put themselves in one of 13 these.  I dont really like putting myself in any boxes but if there was a box where I felt I could, 14 thats awesome, thats what the world should be  a place where everyone feels like they have a 15 box.  That they have a home, they have a community where they feel like theyve been heard 16 and can be seen.  I think thats just awesome  and these kids are so brave.  And how awesome 17 is it that they have full-on parents who have access to the knowledge to be able to say, This is 18 how I feel, this is how I identify.  Who knows had I had those things if I would have been doing 19 this at the age of 5?  Who knows?  So I think just the opportunity to have the knowledge and the 20 visibility is going to come a long way for a lot of people. 21 
 22 
AJ: Was there ever one person that you met that really clicked for you?  I know you watched the 23 online videos and all of those kinds of things but as you stated, that was online.  Have you ever 24 met a person and was like, Wow, thats who I am, or, Thats the life for me.   25 
 26 
TF: I think I get bits and pieces of that from a lot of people that Ive watched.  Theres certain 27 mannerisms and/or personality types that Im like, OK, yes, I identify with that.  But I think the 28 thing I identify most with is just everyones courage or their inner strength.  You just see it in 29 different videos and in different ways that takes shape.  Its different things that they might fight 30 for or they might be speaking about.  I just thrive on everyones courage, because everyone has 31 got it in them.   32 
 33 
AJ: Right. 34 
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TF: But its the ability to be able to access that and have the strength to do that, and thats what I 36 love, thats what I think resonated with me through all the trans folks  I think trans folks are 37 some of the strongest people Ive ever met in my life.  I mean you have to be and thats what . . . 38 whenever Im in a group of trans people, I just feed off of the energy.  Were all just really strong 39 powerful people and were able to speak it and be it and thats what I resonate with most. 40 
 41 
AJ: Thats beautiful.  Anything else Taylor that you want to tell me or tell our audience about that I 42 havent covered?   43 
 44 
TF: No, I think thats pretty much it.  That works for me. 45 
 46 
AJ: So, theres one question that we didnt fully . . . I think I may have interrupted you.  Talk about 1 relationships.  You were saying that youre kind of on a hiatus but . . . youre not dating at all?   2 
 3 
TF: No, Im not dating at all.  Its the hardest thing, I think, that Ive ever had to do.  Im a serial 4 monogamous.  Ive always been in relationships since Ive been 15. 5 
 6 
AJ: So this is a conscious effort? 7 
 8 
TF: Yeah, its a conscious . . . I mean, I have feelings for someone but Im really trying to stick to 9 myself.  But I think . . . the most interesting thing to me is when I started on testosterone, 10 theres a lot of studies that have been done that people who go on testosterone who have 11 never been attracted to me before, become attracted to men.  I was definitely one of those 12 people.  Never in my life had I ever been intimate or . . . I dated guys when I was younger and 13 trying to pass as straight and just put that out for a little bit, but was never physically intimate 14 with any men.  And then once I started testosterone it was like this innate desire that I could not 15 understand and was actually like, Reallly?  This is wrong.  It was something that I didnt 16 understand.  Ive never had this, I dont know where to put this, I dont understand what this 17 means.  So, another part of the reason I identify as queer is because since Ive been on 18 testosterone I find myself very, very attracted to men or masculine-identified people.  Its not 19 necessarily their biological bodies, its just this energy.   20 
 21 
AJ: The energy. 22 
 23 
TF: Yeah, its just this energy thing and so thats why I identify as queer.  So also while Ive been 24 taking this year off, Ive kind of been really interested in exploring other things, or just having a 25 more open mind.  I still ultimately see myself with a wife and kids and a white picket fence and 26 the whole nine yards, but right now I dont know.  Dating is really hard.  I think . . . its really hard 27 because now that trans people are super visible, sometimes I struggle with feeling like I am a 28 fetish  like Im something someone wants to check off their list.  Oh, hes trans  never tried 29 that.  I dont really want to do that and I find myself very . . . Ive worked really hard to get my 30 body where its at, that I think Im much more conscious of who do I want to share my body 31 with?  And so I think thats a big reason why dating or having a partner at this stage through my 32 transition, where Im just kind of like, I worked really hard to get here, Im not sure that I want 33 to share it with anyone, I want it to be something thats really special.  So thats just kind of 34 where Im at right now.  I hope to start dating in January, Id love to.  But whats most important 35 for me is to stay true to myself and really kind of see how I feel.  Like I said, I worked really hard 36 and I dont want to just share it with just someone that Im not really planning on being 37 something real with. 38 
 39 
AJ: Taylor, I want to thank you for your openness and honesty and courage to be yourself. 40 
 41 
TF: Thank you, I appreciate this opportunity.   42 
 43 
AJ: Thank you.   44 
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